So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
