the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
