I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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