I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
is wine microwaveable?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I need to calm my uterus...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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