Say something about gay babies.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
