I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
