Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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