He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
