I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
