The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
