that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
