Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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