is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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