Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
