If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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