He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
