i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
