I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
