Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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