i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
