You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
