That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
