Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
