Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
