oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
