So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
