Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
