Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
