I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
