Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
