Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
