It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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