Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
