i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
