how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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