Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
