But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
