Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
