Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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