And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
