you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Randomize
