17 year olds will be the death of me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
