Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
