I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Holy shit dude........stairs
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