hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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