Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You've changed since you got that strap on
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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