If that was your dad, he is hot
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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