swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
