it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
