She announced her abortion via fbk
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
