he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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