These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
