i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
