Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
