sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
