found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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