She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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