Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
