i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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