please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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