Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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