He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
dude. I can hear the air.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
