new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
