shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
im holly from the hills drunk
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
