make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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