I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
