We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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