I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
