Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
