I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
