meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
