Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
only you would photoshop your dick
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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