and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
